Death and Un
by Ikonopeiston
Summary: I am told this is crackfic.  I know it is AU.  Nooj has a strange encounter.


**Death and Un**

Nooj was sitting in the dark inside the Youth League's large meeting tent. His late night brooding was interrupted by a gathering chill which seemed to have no obvious cause. When he noticed that he also observed that the darkness had become more complete with the disappearance of the faint light which had seeped from the other tents and the campfires scattered around the area.

He looked up, vaguely troubled by the phenomena, only to see a darker shape against the darkness to his left. "Who's there?"

No answer came. Irritated, Nooj lighted the lamp near his hand. Its sallow glow revealed a man - or was it a man? - standing about three feet away from the Meyvn. The figure was preternaturally thin. It stood with its shoulders hunched, its long slender hands raised to its chest and drooping as though broken at the wrist. However, it was the head which was most remarkable. Bald, with pointed ears, the eyes round and reddish with pupils which seemed to swirl like those of an Al Bhed, the face seemed almost clownish until one noticed the mouth. Thin lips, gaping like the maw of a shark, revealed teeth of an extraordinary sharpness with the canines greatly elongated so that they protruded toward the chin.

Nooj had faced enough terrors in his life not to flinch at this one. "Who and what are you? And what are you doing here?"

A deep and sonorous voice, like the sound of a largish organ pipe, emerged from the skinny throat of the apparition. "I have come to bring you your dearest desire. As to my name, I have none but only a title. I am Nosferatu."

"A title, eh? What does it mean?"

The figure displayed an air of impatience. "It means 'Undead", like your title "Taydrcaagan" means "Deathseeker"." The voice had become much higher and less solemn. Seeming to remember its duty, the creature resumed its forbidding appearance.

"So what desire have you come to fulfill?"

Again the basso profundo boomed, "I have come to offer you death and after that undeath. Come to my embrace, young human." The creature held out its skeletal arms in what was obviously meant to be an enticing gesture.

Nooj recoiled, pushing his chair away from the desk. "I won't say I haven't tasted that sort of thing now and then, but it's not my usual sort of indulgence. Besides, as much as I desire death and death in a lover's arms might be acceptable, I have no interest in Undeath, even if I knew what it was. It sounds like the opposite of what I'm after."

A trace of puzzlement crossed the tight skin of the being's brow. "You want to die, right? Once you get that what do you care what comes next? If you become Undead, you get to roam around like me, drinking the blood from the living and scaring the crap out of everybody who sees you." He paused, seeming sure that he had made his point and made it convincingly.

Nooj shook his head. "Not interested. I don't drink much and wine's my tipple and I can scare people as much as I want to without going through all the steps you suggest. No. I want to die and go to Nothingness. I'm tired. Besides, would my prostheses survive the change?"

The creature drew back its arms and folded them again against its chest. "I don't know. I've never had a case like this before."

"There you are. You can't give me any guarantees. Nope, your offer isn't worth it. You're selling something I don't want and can't use. Why should I buy?"

Nosferatu had recovered his confidence. "I offer you immortality. Everlasting existence. Time. Time without end."

"Damn it! You still don't get it, do you? I don't want everlasting existence. I want to die, to end it all, to disappear, to stop existing. Your offer is no gift; it's a threat."

"But I thought all humans ..."

"You thought wrong. Go bother somebody else. I'm not buying." Nooj snarled, showing his strong white blunt teeth.

The spectre started back as though a slice of garlic bread had been waved under its flattened nose. "I can't go back without a convert. Do you expect me to break the rules? You have to accept!"

Nooj smiled slyly. "You need a convert, eh? Here, let me show you this map. You have plenty of time to get to Bevelle before dawn. There's a full-bloodied young man who lives there - name of Baralai."

Monday, October 15, 2007


End file.
